Skip to main content


it's a long walk so far...i'm in search of an identity...beyond the fact that i'm someone's son or someone's brother or someone's friend bla bla bla...they are so vague...why can't i have an identity of my own?

It really stroked me that day...nearly four years ago...i was in a theatre to watch the block buster " The lost world"...and the incidents that followed forced me to start the search for myself... there was a little girl (Shikha, as I came to know later) standing near me...she was with her father and her younger brother...I took her to my lap...we two were wondering at the things that were happening on the screen in front of us...with eyes wide shut!

As her palms were too small to cover her eyes from the horror at times, she used my hands... then there was the break...her father went out to bring some eatables ...only then she realized that she sitting on the lap of a stranger...looked at me..."who are you (with a "just for information" tone)"..."your uncle"
"who uncle?" "0n_the_walk".... i told my name... then came the next "who o_t_w"???

it was time for me to be shut a minute, i scanned each and every cell in my find the trace of any idea of who i can identity that i can share with Shikha...which can stop the chain of questions regarding it...her farther was at my rescue...loaded her mouth with chocolate...the film resumed again...the film came to an end... i said" bye " to Sikha, her father and her brother... and since than i'm in the endless ( so far) search of an identity...don't know whether there will be an end to it...


Mindinside said…
Lovely writing .. as i read i feel it .. putting myself in your place.

It is much easier to look for your identitiy as one than being me searching the real me among the many different identities .. wondering who is the real me....that's really confusing

Popular posts from this blog

Firefly Syndrome!

Friday March 24, 2006

Reminder alert of the cell phone dragged me out of sleep at 5:30 in the morning. The screen flashed FMC...FMC...FMC

"Friday Morning Class? Oh shit!"

(It's one of the hundreds of things; I am trying to absorb either into my daily or weekly schedule thanks to my new profile in a KPO.)

That means I will have to reach office 45 minutes earlier than a normal day, sit patiently in the conference room, either listening to the lifeless preaching of an unmotivated 'motivation expert' (something I hate from the bottom of my heart) or struggle to make sense out of a presentation by a Chartered Accountant or an MBA on some topic of their interest. I am the odd man out in such classes. But attending them is mandatory.

While concepts of management always tickle my senses, I feel awkward listening to CAs. The Topics they discuss hardly make any sense to me. So I have find out various ways of utilizing the time I feel I am wasting. When there's no other opti…

Rays of hope...

These days,
I can hear my heart saying
its time
you confront your life,
its time
you nourish dreams
fill some colours
to the grey grey world
And I followed it, added a colour, a crimson colour full of life. I can feel the spaces inside my heart getting filled with sight and smell of rose and sounds of echoing laughter. I can feel it growing fonder, quieter, warmer then ever. I am struggling for words to paint my heart. There are thousands of them.As it usually happens, in these moments I find it difficult to choose the best of them...all of them dearer, all of them nearer...I am sitting quite till they grow strong enough to break the barricade erected long time back. I am waiting for the day they unfold their wings again, to touch the vast blueness above.
These days, I can hear my heart saying the day is not far...

We three...

My echo...Slowly the cracking sounds of the dry leaves died out and I got a feel of the rocky ground I was walking on...only sounds remained were that of wind and the last rays of the setting sun getting reflected after striking on the sharp edges of the uneven rocks..."Is there any one around? Can any one hear me?"...ear me?...r me?...r me?”Words kept on bouncing till they lost all their energy in the roughness of the rocks and died out.
My shadow...
I saw him standing in front of the mirror with the same old tool box. "Hey, what are you doing?""Can't you see? Trying to fix a smile!""What a big job that is?""Why don't you help me out? I have been trying for past one hour. But some how none of the smiles are looking good on my face?" I got busy with the screw driver...fixing different curves on the face, to fix the smile that looks perfect...after struggling for one hour more I also realised, it's not as s…