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For most of the people from the part of the country I come from, Diwali is just an occasion to burst crackers. It was not much different for me too.

The very thought of Diwali was scary (!) for me. My poor lungs were too weak to bear the amount of pollution in the air, thanks to the tons of crackers burnt. As the days closed in to Diwali and people around start count down, I would be crippled by the images of me, sitting in a corner of my bed, struggling for breath. I have had sufficient reasons to hate the festival.

Even then there were certain things I liked about the festival.

I was scared of it but waited for it...waited eagerly to watch the lines of diays that maa (mamma) would put around the house, making it look like a heavenly abode...I longed for the day when there will be silence all around; I would sit on a chair and watch the flames dancing with air waves.

Sight of diyas struggling to keep themselves alive when air movements became too ruthless evoked countless thoughts in my mind. Amidst the banging sound of crackers I would struggle to read them one by one...

Why is it like that?
Why do you take the pain?
burn your bossom
to illuminate the obscurities
of my path
and never demand anything
in return...

I loved watching maa lighting up diays and putting them in line all arround the house, killing the patches of darkness. Lit up with the radiance of the diyas she's set alight, she appeared the guardian angel from the Aesop’s stories. In one such Diwali evening I came to the conclusion that maa and diyas are just synonyms to each other...

This Diwali made me realize the distance I have traveled, away from her...despite all efforts, I failed to recall a day when I expressed in raw words how much I love her and miss her...suddenly I found myself longing to be near her...now you will find me doing a count down, of the day I will be home again...

This Diwali, I felt there was more light...silence of diyas were more pervading than the tons of bursting crackers...


NB: In this post you will definitely find an impression of this useless piece...

Comments

Mindinside said…
Sorry to see you in a nostalgic pain ..am wishing brighter days ahead..the days you are back to her again with smiles.
Some moms are heavenly
dwaipayan said…
I can empathize ur pain... but I'm so glad that you came back to share ur pain with us. the more I read ur writing, the more I feel like meeting you...

one day we'll meet and chat....


and hope you are well.. how's your health??
totaramkiaaatma said…
Diwali Mubarak!!!!
Anonymous said…
That was a nice post!
Did you call your mom that day to tell her how much you missed her? :)
Hope you are well now.
Anonymous said…
Hope you're taking care of yourself.
Abaniko said…
Off-topic: Hi Aklanta. I thought you said "goodbye" to blogging already so I removed your blog in my blogroll. I just discovered you've resumed blogging so I linked you back. Glad to be reading you again. Cheers, buddy!
jac said…
Moms are incredible.
:)
V N said…
Belated greetings, my dear pal!!
:)
Anonymous said…
Take good care...
totaramkiaaatma said…
so has the muse left u again or heneforth we will be subjected to sporadic bursts of ur writings or ru ill?
adi said…
bahut ho gaya yaar!

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