A PIECE OF MY HEART

Boys don't cry...the lesson I used to get often from my parents, from the time I started fighting with friends and brothers..."it's girlish, you know" and we believed only girls have had the right to weep of cry...after being punched or beaten, we struggled to keep up a brave face with dry eyes...at least when there were people around...I remember many occasions when I successfully stopped my self from weeping, even though I was alone...

But that particular incident changed my notions...I was preparing from the tenth standard (it's considered to be a landmark for careers of students in our region as results of these decided which college you would join and what will be your future course...my dream was to be a scientist and so...)

At about ten in the night, I felt some one was peeping inside through the door curtain...
"Milli, just come in"

"Hey what happened, why are you crying?"...swelling in her eyes showed she has had hours cry already. She started crying again as I took her to lap..." I felt like seeing you." failed to say anything more and after sobbing for a while she went asleep on my hands.

I was just wondering what happened, when her mother with my mum entered the room. "She has not seen you for the past five days. For the past two day she was asking for my permission to come to see you. But I thought that might disturb your studies. Exams are only five days away. So I did not allow her. But today she cried for an hour. She was not ready to go to sleep until and unless she sees you once," said Sharmah aunty.

I know I will not be able to express the feelings that were triggered in my heart. Everything in front of me became blurred...I felt the streams of water sliding down my cheeks. I wished I could shower the little angel sleeping on my hands (who once declared that she wants to gobble me as she can't share me with others) with all the joys of the world

That night, I did not try to stop me from weeping...I promised my self I will struggle all my life to gather energy, enough to shield her from all the odds of the world...I am lookng for the right way to tell her that I am still surviving with the love she flooded me with...